The act of falling in love is still a mystery, scientists are yet to explain this phenomenon, how a complete stranger can enter your life, take over your being, thus becoming your world.
You once said you can’t live without me, I belived it to be true, for only the purest of truth could flow from the beautiful fountain of your succulent lips. Pardon me dear Susan, but the last time i got a glimpse of your astonishing beauty, your heart pumped with normality and your nostrils inhaled and exhaled air; how may this be true??
For you once whispered with calm your voice that feels like the sun set, so beautiful yet divine, that your existence is based on our being together. But Atlas you are doing just fine without me and here I am drowning waiting for your love to rescue me. Moving on was so easy for you, you bask openly in the euphoria of my emptiness, throwing parties and living the the dream alone.
I am beginning to doubt if the thunder of love struck only me, we consumated our love under the covers of the plain moon light, you held me in your grasp and looked deep in to my eyes, reaching for my soul and said “always and forever” the stars bear me witness , I believed every sweet sultry lie you fed me, swallowing my will to resist; dear Susan, what did you mean?? How did forever end so soon?
You sold the good girl dream to me, but in reality it was only but a dream and your dreams never last. You only used, manipulated and took advantage of me, You ruined me without hesitation thus leaving me with only grey days. You were indeed a wolf in sheeps clothing. “They” say love is blind, and today I became a honourable member of the “they” society.
You wanted love, committed, friendship, consistency and reciprocity. I gave you all and a piece of my soul included, but contentment was never your best feature. I gave you the best part of me sacred to me. I opend the dungeon where my demons hide for you to shine forth your light and kiss away my pains; Yet what did you do?? You took my sunshine dear Susan and shut me in with my demons and left. I have learnt to love the darkness for it is better than your rainbow sugar coated web if deceit and lies you call love.
I know is easy to hang myself in blames, The thought that I could have been a better man, loved you better, adored you as the royalty, “her majesty” is, the queen of my heart. It plagues me daily and hunts my sleep as a reoccurring nightmare, I should have adorned you with gold and written your name across the farthest continent; maybe i wasnt a good enough man for you, one worthy of the heart of a queen.
Let’s take a pause, I forgot to breath, thoughts of you are everly so consuming.
Nay!!!! The gods have turned their back on me and sent karma my way as punishment.
The spirits have turned around and bit me right where my heart is. The thought kept pouring in like heavy rain non stop, maybe this was my entitlement. Maybe mother earth has had enough of me and felt it’s time I feel the pain that I’ve caused her treasured daughters. Maybe I am a dark wondering soul in need of this pain to find the right path home.
Yes! I earned my dues, I stand guilty of the crime I have been accused of. I have played the toddlers game with love and messed up it’s care and generosity, I grinded the hearts of gifts love bestowed upon me and blew it for the wind to scatter never to gather.
I raised hopes of your daughters seeking love and protection. Oh mother earth and then broke their trust living a scar on their heart to remember me by “I was here”
Pain is never easy but this has past my threshold, Justice has been served and an eye has indeed been taken for an eye… I return back to the depths of my dungeon waiting for a saviour